How Weiner Can Win: Go the Full Pee-Wee!

My sources tell me that  this is the plan: 

GO BIG! Make yourself “Celebrity-Crazy-Lovable”.

For example:

Weiner gas mask

Like Justin Bieber, walk around wearing a gas mask for no reason. And always wear ugly pants.

Weiner Bieber Monkey

Also, like the Bieb, adopt a pet monkey. Everyone will get the joke.

Rick Weiner

Dedicate the campaign to Rick James, Mr. Superfreak himself!Britney Weiner

Like Britney, shave your head bald and go after the paparazzi.

Pee Wee WeinerFinally, get meta and do a Broadway show, like Charlie Sheen . .  or Pee Wee!